So its been ages since I posted. I always start something and never finish. *sigh* I really meant for this to be something I did on a daily basis....something that I WOULD finish!
Problem is that I have thoughts.....oh so many thoughts.....that they get all jumbled up and then I feel like no one wants to hear them....sometimes not even myself! I never think what I say or do is good enough....I'm always striving for perfection yet never think I get there. Maybe I need to stop setting such high standards for myself and just sit here and let it all come out. Whether good or bad just let it out.
Who cares if it is read or liked......at least its out of my head.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyhoo.....yesterday I went to visit my 3 year old neice. Such a funny lil tike. She kept calling me Aunt Mary. My uncle said....she isn't Aunt Mary....its Keysha. She says, "Yes it is...she has red hair."
I said, "Nope I am Keysha."
She replies, "Well FINE...if you want to be Keysha, then just BE Keysha!"
lol I thought....Kid that is who I have been trying to be for so long...... "JUST BEING KEYSHA"
I am who I am......like me or not.....I am just being Keysha!
And on a side note: You may or may not have noticed that the Title of my Blogs are Lyrics or names of a Song. Today's lyrics are brought to you by Janis Joplin....Work Me, Lord.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Make Yourself..............
You don't have to like the band Incubus.....though I highly recommend it....BUT if you read the lyrics to any of their songs....they are moving, inspiring, and for me life changing.
In my early 20s I was having a REALLY hard time...between taking care of a baby, getting rid of an abusive boyfriend, dealing with a VERY dysfunctional family, overcoming depression, and trying to make it through college....but with the will to succeed and determination I did. I look back on those days and I am like WOWSERS....how the hell did you get through all this! I lost myself in all this craziness, lost that drive to be inspired....somedays even the will to live. It was like I had fallen down this huge black abyss.....even with people around..I felt ALONE!
I had always had a love for music since I can remember. Inspired by my grandmother listening to the oldies, my uncle listening to what is now "Classic Rock", to the cheesy yet awesome songs of the 80s. In highschool, music was my life....from the camping out for 16th row seats to see Depeche Mode, to admiring The Cure and the Jesus and Mary Chain, to the Nirvana concert I will never forget!
But during this...as I like to call them Dark Ages.....I had lost my passion for much of anything.....it was there deep within me...just hidden away. I had let someone else take over my life....to this day I can only speculate why and I try not to think about it too much as its not healthy for my soul anymore.
At the ripe age of 23.....I remember the age cuz in one of Incubus' songs....it says
A decade ago,
I never thought I would be,
at twenty-three, on the verge of
spontaneous combustion. -Woe-is-me.-
I discovered this song....and I was like "Holy Shit Batman".....someone gets it....someone else understands.....I am not the only one having a crisis. So I get the CD....and to my delightful surprise....there were more songs with lyrics that spoke to me. It was like this band channeled into my head and could hear everything I was thinking.
I was always about being your own individual....I can remember good ol' Captain Chesapeake (only people from Baltimore can remember him)....saying " Be somebody IMPORTANT...Be YOURSELF!!" In highschool, I became known as a "FREAK" for expressing my own individuality.....but that is for a whole other blog session!
So back to the subject at hand....a song on this Incubus album...Make Yourself.....this song spoke volumes to me that day I played it. I played it over and over taking in every last word. It was like Brandon Boyd was in my room with me that day......talking to just me. Telling me to be myself....not to let anyone else make who I am cuz if you do, they are gonna make you into something you are not, something weak and fragile and before you know it....the individual that you are.... will be gone.
I will leave you now with the lyrics to the song. It's better to listen to the song....but just read these lyrics and understand....we all have the power to choose our own path and don't let anyone else drive you in the wrong direction. If you really want to "LIVE"....be who you want to be and don't let anyone else make you feel wrong about it. At the end of the day.....it is you who has to spend the rest of your life with yourself!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow..
If I hadn't assembled myself, Id've fallen apart by now.
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow.
Powers that be, Would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow.
But...
If you let them make you, they'll make you Paper-Mache
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes
Then you'll crumble and blow away.
If you let him fuck you there will be no foreplay.
Rest assured, They'll screw you complete, Until your ass is blue and grey!
You should make amends with you,
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live,
Why not try, and Make yourself?
Make yourself (Make yourself)
If I hadn't made me, I'd have fallen apart by now.
I won't let them make me..It's more than I can allow.
So when I make me, I won't be paper-Mache..
And if I fuck me...I'll fuck me in my own way.
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way...
You should make amends with you,
If only for better health (Better health)
But if you really want to live,
Why not try, and Make yourself?
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself!
In my early 20s I was having a REALLY hard time...between taking care of a baby, getting rid of an abusive boyfriend, dealing with a VERY dysfunctional family, overcoming depression, and trying to make it through college....but with the will to succeed and determination I did. I look back on those days and I am like WOWSERS....how the hell did you get through all this! I lost myself in all this craziness, lost that drive to be inspired....somedays even the will to live. It was like I had fallen down this huge black abyss.....even with people around..I felt ALONE!
I had always had a love for music since I can remember. Inspired by my grandmother listening to the oldies, my uncle listening to what is now "Classic Rock", to the cheesy yet awesome songs of the 80s. In highschool, music was my life....from the camping out for 16th row seats to see Depeche Mode, to admiring The Cure and the Jesus and Mary Chain, to the Nirvana concert I will never forget!
But during this...as I like to call them Dark Ages.....I had lost my passion for much of anything.....it was there deep within me...just hidden away. I had let someone else take over my life....to this day I can only speculate why and I try not to think about it too much as its not healthy for my soul anymore.
At the ripe age of 23.....I remember the age cuz in one of Incubus' songs....it says
A decade ago,
I never thought I would be,
at twenty-three, on the verge of
spontaneous combustion. -Woe-is-me.-
I discovered this song....and I was like "Holy Shit Batman".....someone gets it....someone else understands.....I am not the only one having a crisis. So I get the CD....and to my delightful surprise....there were more songs with lyrics that spoke to me. It was like this band channeled into my head and could hear everything I was thinking.
I was always about being your own individual....I can remember good ol' Captain Chesapeake (only people from Baltimore can remember him)....saying " Be somebody IMPORTANT...Be YOURSELF!!" In highschool, I became known as a "FREAK" for expressing my own individuality.....but that is for a whole other blog session!
So back to the subject at hand....a song on this Incubus album...Make Yourself.....this song spoke volumes to me that day I played it. I played it over and over taking in every last word. It was like Brandon Boyd was in my room with me that day......talking to just me. Telling me to be myself....not to let anyone else make who I am cuz if you do, they are gonna make you into something you are not, something weak and fragile and before you know it....the individual that you are.... will be gone.
I will leave you now with the lyrics to the song. It's better to listen to the song....but just read these lyrics and understand....we all have the power to choose our own path and don't let anyone else drive you in the wrong direction. If you really want to "LIVE"....be who you want to be and don't let anyone else make you feel wrong about it. At the end of the day.....it is you who has to spend the rest of your life with yourself!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow..
If I hadn't assembled myself, Id've fallen apart by now.
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow.
Powers that be, Would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow.
But...
If you let them make you, they'll make you Paper-Mache
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes
Then you'll crumble and blow away.
If you let him fuck you there will be no foreplay.
Rest assured, They'll screw you complete, Until your ass is blue and grey!
You should make amends with you,
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live,
Why not try, and Make yourself?
Make yourself (Make yourself)
If I hadn't made me, I'd have fallen apart by now.
I won't let them make me..It's more than I can allow.
So when I make me, I won't be paper-Mache..
And if I fuck me...I'll fuck me in my own way.
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way...
You should make amends with you,
If only for better health (Better health)
But if you really want to live,
Why not try, and Make yourself?
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)